If you decide to speak
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
I am glad it helped. :)
Well, you can’t change in one day. That, besides being racionally impossible, would mess your internal system and your beliefs. You need to, as you said, take baby steps. Start by believing in yourself. Believe that you are an amazing person and that you can achieve anything you put your heart in to. And then you can always try to be a little bit loose with your closest friends. :)
Just be happy, yes? :)
There are lots of people out there that think the exact way that you do, so don’t ever feel like you’re the only thinking this way. :)
But what you feel is normal. If you’re not comfortable around someone, if you don’t really know that person, it is normal for your, let’s say, defensive system to get activate and don’t show the real you. It isn’t something bad, really. On the other hand, if you know someone, if you’ve built a relationship with that person where you feel comfortable and not nervous, then you defensive system won’t activate in such a big level and the real you will show.
Now, if you want, you can transcend your defensive system and be the real you around pretty much anyone. I am sure you know a lot of people that are like that. It’s what we describe as “not caring about what other people think, I’ll just be me”. Either if you choose one or another, you should never based your choices in what you think other people will think of you. I remember a quote that says something like “People who matter will stay no matter what and that people that will care about your choices don’t matter.”
So, if you like the ‘real you’, be you. Don’t be afraid of what people may think. You will waste a lot of your time and, in the end of the day, it won’t matter because those people will always have different points of view. They will always find a different way to judge you, so why don’t you give them the “I don’t care what you think” kind of look? Just go for what you feel right. Just go for what makes you feel happy. I promise you, it may be difficult in the beggining, but if it makes you happy, it will be worth it. :)
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
You can always go to a professional therapist. :)
After you tell him why do you think you have BPD and what are the symptons you have been experiencing, you both may come to a conclusion. But, please, know that there is a chance that you won’t get an answer on your first session. S/he will need more information and the simple interation between you two will help get some answers. Don’t think that’s a bad thing, because it’s not.
Even if you have BPD, that is not a negative thing. You can learn how to live with it and you won’t feel that many differences comparatively to your “old” life.
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
Your body needs food to survive. If you’re doing this and thinking “Well, if I don’t eat, I will get thin”, you are wrong. Yes, you may get thin, but you’ll also get sick more easily. Imagine yourself as a car. If you don’t “eat” gas (and here it means ‘food’), you won’t be able to drive to the city. You need it to funtion. So, please, please, don’t starve yourself.
Eating is good. It gives you energy for you to do what you love. I bet you’re beautiful the way you are and there is no need to starve. Why do you do that to yourself? I hope one day you see how beautiful you are to everyone, including myself.
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
I know things don’t seem easy right now, but they will be. Sooner or later, you will see that life is beautiful and part of its beauty comes from the need to fight over good things.
They didn’t told us life was easy. They didn’t told us we wouldn’t have to fight. We do. Some days just… I am sorry, but suck. And it makes us want to give up because, honestly, how can we be happy if things aren’t the way we want them to be? And that’s the thing… If we get stuck on those bad moments, we won’t see the sun. But if we stand up and you kick those crappy moments in the butt, we will have the strenght enough to fight and find the rainbow. A little bit of rain in your lives it’s essential. But even when we find ourselves in the middle of a thunderstorm, but doesn’t mean tomorrow isn’t going to be sunny.
You were put on this Earth because you are strong enough to fight back and live through every obstacle. Don’t give up. Things will get better. Things will get easier.
But then you go on Tumblr, and you see something different. You see girls buying clothes, cutting their hair, taking laxatives, starving themselves, doing anything to make themselves look thinner. They base their self-worth on a NUMBER projected on a man-made scale. And to be honest with you, it breaks my heart. Because I know that you CAN eat without feeling guilty, you CAN eat fattening food without punishing yourself afterwards. What the scale says is NOT the most important thing. Being thin is NOT more important than being healthy. Being thin and not eating are NOT signs of true will power and success. Screw what all these pro-ana blogs tell you. You don’t have to be thin to be attractive. You are perfectly okay just the way you are.
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
One day you’ll do amazing things. Don’t think that, just because your friends are going through different paths that you won’t do the same. Don’t be scared of the change. You get to a certain age when it’s normal that people you were once very close to start drifting away. But that doesn’t mean you will end those relationships.
You are destined to big things. You may not believe in that, because you see yourself with no where to go, but you are. And they will happen, I promise. Just be patient and live every day to its fullest. Don’t be sad. Don’t think you will stay in the same place forever. One day you will look back and think how silly of you it was to think that you weren’t going to be amazing.
You are important and one day every one in the world will see it.
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
It’s not awful. It’s a normal feeling and a lot of people, in some point of their lives, feel like that. The world is a big and confusing place, we keep on being exposed to lots of stimuli and, sometimes, we feel like we don’t know how to react to them, or even if we have people to count on. I’ve also felt that way and, to be honest, I know how horrible it is. Feeling like no one really cares about you, it’s like having this ache in your chest. But, at some point, there’s always something that shows you that you’re wrong.
You are not alone in this world and you will never be. You have tons of people surrounding you that love you and care about you like crazy. Sometimes they don’t tell you they love you as much as maybe you need to hear it. Sometimes they don’t show you how much they care about you. And, sometimes that collides with one day you’re feeling down and you just need a calm voice saying “I am here, I am not going anywhere”. I bet that, if you needed, you would have tons of people coming to help you and make sure you’re okay.
Just think… The world is so busy, there are so many things to do that sometimes we kind of forget to tell our loved ones we love them. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care. You are loved. You will never be alone. And if you ever feel like that ever again, just think that I love you. I care about you. I will be here forever and I will make everything I can to make you smile. You are loved and you will never, ever, be alone.
Anonymous Asks:
ifyoudecidetospeak Said:
Why are you saying that? Are you based on the symptoms? You can always ask for professional help. If you do have borderline personality, don’t see that as a bad thing. Please know that BPD can, sometimes, be confused with normal humor changes, specially in teenagers. Aren’t teenagers known for being nice in one moment and rude in the other?
Either way, if you do have a BPD, please know that it doesn’t mean that you have an incurable disease. You can live with it and, specially, you’ll get to know yourself better.
